One day wandering...

 

Confused

I just got confused ... Lost my way...

Names...

It’s too late; you’ve become a haze, a forgotten memory, the ashes of a burnt piece of timber.
Your smile, your touch, your face. A far-fetched comfort. Nostalgic tripe.
You brought life to lifelessness, you brought everything to nothingness, you brought ecstasy to sadness, you were my shelter from the harsh rain…… But honey! It ain’t raining anymore.
You’re the unread chapter of my existence, the pastime of monstrosity, leftovers of indulgence. Your death is as meaningless as your life.
Walk away; turn your back on me. Go on, walk.
Why do your tears suddenly seem so pathetic? Why do you suddenly seem so ugly?
Call me names. Yes, abuse me, insult me, curse me, but your moist eyes will always plead me, your loneliness will always remember me and your pain, a pain, so unbearable, that you fall on your blood stained knees and beg for mercy, but only to face an empty sky...

Rocking...

Im just getting start to rock it.. The future...
Yep! Again... like a year ago...
Just start engines and accelerate ...

A question...

Do I have to be heading toward the future or ... Just escaping and enjoy rest of my life?
I doubt it...

Thats true... I have to ... Its a big force not to enjoy it yourself...
There is only one solution we can make it better... Find your future soul as perfect as its possible match.
80 ~ 85 % is the best.
Loyalty - Same Value - Same Interest - Same Beliefs -  Honestly and Same Behave....
One forget.... All forget... Trust me... Coz Im talking from experience , not just publishing ideas...
And to be alone forever is better than be in the middle of trouble with some one who's not compatible ...

When Its getting cold

Its getting cold... Very very nice to me....

Eventually ... Fly...

Im getting out this chaos mental city which spent three years in hardship and difficulties. You have no idea how hard it is to post a blog on this difficult situation... Im getting done on making decisions... My airplane is taking off and getting out of this airport and I have to fly away.
Thanks God and thanks my family for their 24-7 support and everyone who'd helped me on their ways... Next stop to get connection flight will be 2 years later on 23 Sep 2012.
Hard to believe, isnt it? I know.

PS: Refueling will be on air.

Doing well on career

First of all, Im just138 pounds now! I was 295 pounds 6 months ago... Losing weight is a great experience I should have had it already. and Im just gonna lose some more weight as well,
Ok, Today was awesome, New coworkers and new duty as Industrial Control Electrician in Engineering field, It was on. Examining new full automated product line made by Italy and so on is really what I wanted already. I have to  improve my PLC-programming-ability to programming a new device, Anyway it was great.
I hope I can cop em all. Want to study harder and harder to hit that dream of mine. Eventually.
Thanks God :)

Summer 2010 last day...

I just woke up and got to the Ali's School ( First year ), Then got Park-e Mellat and doing some mathematics, My phone ranged and got a special NEWS about my career. Then wandering in that green memories belongs to 8 years ago till now, took some photos and got back.
Thats it! Today was the last day of summer and was totally nice...

The Driveway...

After 12, not so well
Won't pretend, it's too soon to tell
What's round this bend?
No disgrace, about face
Anything not to have to chase you down again
You know nothing hurts like loosing
When you know it's really gone
Except for the pain of choosing
To hold too long

I tried it your way
But I got nothing to show
It's been the same, same
And the story's getting old
So I guess the driveway
Will be the end of the road
For us it's too late
Let the credits start to roll


A lot to say
But not today
Let the radio break the silence
As we drive
A kiss goodbye
Not this time
Don't remember what about this song
I ever liked
You know nothing hurts like loosing
When you know I'm already gone
Except for the pain of choosing
To hold too long

I tried it your way
But I got nothing to show
It's been the same, same
And the story's getting old
So I guess the driveway
Will be the end of the road
For us it's too late
Let the credits start to roll

I thought maybe we were getting somewhere
But we're still nowhere at all
I watched your tail lights fading
I try but it still won't fall
I remember what it feels like to know love
And have it taken away
Can't think of what I've learned right now
But I'll be thanking you someday

I tried it your way
But I got nothing to show
It's been the same, same
And the story's getting old
So I guess the driveway
Will be the end of the road
For us it's too late
Let the credits start to roll

Let the credits start to roll
So I guess the driveway
Will be the end of the road,
End of the road 

Downlaod - Driveway by Miley Cyrus

Signs...

Look, we've all been searching for signs ,right? Mm. But eventually, over time, we all become our own signs.You know, these... these completely different people who just happen to look like us. you can ask the universe for signs all you want... It's uncanny. Right? But ultimately, we only see what we want to see when we're ready to see it.

Just let it go for a while to get what exactly you want from the life, Consider life is short... We are not suppose to be here permanently... Sometimes huge mistakes we thought we have made was the right thing to do in the past, need to realized that, Again... Life is short ...

Best Friday, Ever

Today was the last summer Friday which was great!... Yesterday was raining and morning after that sky was unbelievably blue and shiny... I woke up early and went to the front yard, Breathing a lot of fresh air. Dad woke up and said "Go to the store and buy cheese for breakfast". What a nice job to going out! ... I got there cycling and It was the best thing I should do... Then I spend some time riding bicycle and enjoyed the whole world. Blue sky, cool weather which reminded me how I missed north of Iran. I wish I was there with my buddy ( Bicycle ).
U know, somehow I felled Im happy... Yeah, This is happiness... A nice father which is always worry about you, a mom which asks you what would you like for lunch? a bicycle which is nice to ride and makes you happy, a blogger which provide an opportunity to publish whatever you want, a extraordinary mp3 player you can listen to your favorite songs 24/7 wherever, even a burger with fries, a university which you enjoy classes and talk to your classmate as well, English books which remind you how was nice those classes talking about "What are you doing when you get thirty" and so on...
See? There is no need to have a Mercedes Benz or be owner of a very big house to feel you're happy, Just hit that with tiny things and... You're friends, Parent, Siblings and every people around you...
I just want to live... no less no more...

HIMYM

There days I got used to watching HIMYM for the third time, Gosh! I really love em all! Barney, Robin, Lily and Marshal and Ted Mosby... U know, Im really happy while Im watching em, esp Barney Stinson, Damn it! I dont like that kind of relationships though, but, There is something which I really wanna get it. I accepted 70% of their culture and way of living, "Reasonable".
Anyway, You can find a lot of American expressions that you wont find em on books or classes, Just hit it. As Barney said, Dude! You gotcha nail it , Seriously!

I'm gonna watch it for the forth time till next episodes get out.

Its time to rock it! just move on whatever made you sad and...
U got it... Its on...

Life road...

Imagine the Life road...You can't just jump to the end, the journey is the best part and you'll understand when you're a little bit older, trust me! Lets dont waste "Now" because of unknown "future"...! Just enjoy and rock your "Now"... Maybe there will not be such "future"...!

Start from.... now!

Burger and fries...

I cant help not eating burger and fries when Im going to be starving! I remember eat that heaven 4 times a week for a year and half! OMG! Thats fucking delicious with hot sauce and fries... First bite you forget many things made you mad... Awesome... I used to eat it with my friends on greens and such a nice days I had... Im gonna be that guy again! There is nothing comparable with hot burger even hot dog! Huummm! Think of makes me hungry...

My best burger-eaten-experience was at an specific night in winter, I went out my friend to Mashhad ( dont remember )  exhibition and it was so dream!

Gotta get it tomorrow!

How nice was it...

Free hugs...

Im very interested in other cultures and their traditions like Free Hugs, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Halloween and so on. All of em are nice to me because they are trying to be happy, no matter what you have got, no matter who are you, no matter whats your life level or how much is your living... Just respecting each other and gathering... This is awesome... Imagine you are upset or mad at someone.. you really need a warm hug of everyone...
These kind of celebrities are so motivator and makes you feel safe... I really like it...
People can help out with a simple smile or free hug.. even by listening to you... See... This is happiness in my opinion... This is now... not the future not the past... just be nice to everyone...

Refresh my life...

Back to 1997 I used to have a lot of colorful pen and pencils, I dont know why, But I really liked to just have em not even use em at all...Since 2005 everything has changed .. My house and also lifestyle...Then I start buying these stuffs for one thing... Refresh my mind and "How to live" !. Seriously! When I want to make a change in my whole life its time to buy a new pencil and eraser... So this evening I got both of em... New colors and  new things make me motivated to write something new, Then I decide something new, Next I do something new... This is how I refresh my way of thinking...

Its really sweet to me.. For my Dad, Changing his car is the best way to get that...

P.S: This is my new stuffs :)

Bad habits...

Have you noticed some people you know em have some especial bad habits? Like space out when you are talking with someone else or interrupt in no time , or call you for unreasonable reason in the middle of the night? How we should react? Say it? Ignore it?
You see, when someone's bad habits are pointed out to you, it's hard to ignore them, But if you love them enough those bad habits are easy to forget.

Eventually ...

Sometime I think about "Eventually" word. Eventually I get marry, eventually I get my favorite job, eventually I finish my education, eventually I get opportunities, eventually my dreams and wishes become true,eventually I immigration to somewhere, eventually I have kids, eventually I get old  and eventually I die...
But there is a big question mark in mind, Who am I? What Im doing here? What Im suppose to do? What is the purpose of life? and blah blah blah...
I think if you're really honest with yourself about what you want out of life, life gives it to you. But consider of it, Is it worth it to spend unrecoverable time of your life?

When dreams come true...

Today I just had a dream, I was somewhere special watching Alyson Hannigan and Cobie Smulders conflict about something, Then rained and flooded everywhere ... I was watching em from sky... They were swimming to somewhere safer...
Suddenly I found myself swimming in a bright water ... I was swimming back crawl opposite, It was really sweet, ( Ive been afraid of swimming in dark water, Coz I used to have such dreams and danger of sharks... ) So I knew Its safe and after some seconds I get the seaside as easy as you imagine! Thats it! ... I got on a green island with a lot of trees and lakes, So beautiful, I have not imagine such pretty place already in my imagination, Something like heaven, a few people were there and they are in shock same as me, just wandering and looking...
I also took some very nice photos,... I was laid on the ground and watch the nature of the island and enjoying ...
They were cobweb to, The nice ones, like a web from sky to the ground which hold the water drops...

Destiny...

Never underestimate the power of destiny.
Because when you least expect it, the littlest thing can cause a ripple effect that changes your life.

Click on picture to open as actual size / save.

Delete my memories...

There are some memories I really want to delete em all, Nothing good.I wish there was a way to do that but unfortunately every moment you see, hear, experience saves on your brain and no way to delete it completely  even after number of decades...
You cannot escape from them because you more escape, they more pursuit .. goes on to ruin your dreams...
Dreams dreams dreams...Never can get even one of them because "we want them"! and so "Life dosnt want them". We cannot fight with what we're not suppose to do.
We're not suppose to delete our memories...
The only way to not to have pain about it is dont let it happen ...
I know It seems impossible but we gotta do that, because its the only way to be happy in our lives...

Career future...

Tonight me and Dad plus Ali went to help out with Saied's moving to his new place, It was a bit little hard though, Good for him we've been there, coz his place is on third floor, hard to move things...
BTW, It ended up by 10:35PM.
After that when I was getting online, Mom ranged and told me they ( sisters ) are getting Mashhad ASAP, So I had to go to pick em up. I did.

I was talking to dad while we've been getting home about what I want to do after getting that motivated job as a Professional Control Electrician called PCE,  To Establish my own company with Mohsen or on my own.
Dad asked, what thats about? "Dealing with computers and House-Security system plus Industrial Automation" I replied.

You know what? Im deadly seriously gonna rock it all, and I will definitely do it!

Death meter...

Have you ever considered when you have to say goodbye to your family to discover the other world? I know, Its unpredictable . Obviously nobody can guess even around 5 minutes...I just visited a link which calculate your death time called death meter.It works base on some scientific issues. Something like alcoholic drinks or air pollution which decrease your living time...
According to the death meter I can live till 14th April 2065 which is so so ... But we all know this is not real..
What do think if someone special tells you're gonna die on ... in ...
Its time to not judge ... Not be rude or cruel, Not to tell lies...and whatever you think its good enough to be a nice person...

Mistake...

know it's a mistake.But there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake,and look back, and say, "Yep. That was a mistake."
So, really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake,because then you go your whole life not really knowing if something is a mistake or not.
And, damn it, I've made no mistakes! I've done all of this-- my life, my relationship, my career mistake free!

Doing math again

Yep! I hate it totally but I really need to get through it, Doing mathematics is a compulsory "need" that I have to care about. Sometimes it goes fun  and sometimes boring... esp "Functions", Damn it...
So what I need to do? Just skipping this duration of time, Till end of the week. So I can re-return to it after about 4 months...
I also need to re-start doing sports... Running and Badminton in Park-e- mellat...
You know, Im gonna break that hard rock... I can do it.. Seriously...
Just gotta get that fucking job which freaks me out.

Need disco or teaching?

These days I really need a disco to just "forgetting" ... Just rocking, dancing and think about nothing but nothing...
I wish I could go somewhere like that... I remember there was such thing like disco but privately in Gorgan which was really nice to spend time and have fun. It collapsed by "Basij" and not exist anymore...
So what  do I have to do now? ... I know! Only way feel better ... Teaching in an English class...
You have no idea how interesting is teaching ... specially around my career...
I would love to get through it one day...

Lets rock disco!

Awesome day

Its now.. I came from the plant over 65km out of town. That was awesome day because I just diagnosed then repaired and full automatic industrial robot which has been disable for a week!
I just got some pics, will upload em later.


Thanks God...:)

First day of career

Today I gotta go work at 2 PM, Its a very nice job for me, I like it at all, great place great opportunities to improve my "Automation Information", . I also just got 2 other offers from chemical industrial of my hometown which is really nice in team work around PLC's and controlling plus PM.
The last one is teaching in an English institute I decided to talk to em to set an appointment "how to work" because of my main career limitation working hours.

The salary is "Fine", I mean the whole "Living" is satisfying right now, So Ill probably take it. :)

It was very long time to get this opp after 4 resignation because of technical issues. Here I am .. Still hopeful and full of energy heading toward future...My main position called "Main Control Electrician"...Im gonna rock it...

+ I can study and work together! yeah! because of many things! This is exactly how Im gonna do that...

First step

This is the first post of mine here... Im gonna talk about many things...esp memories...

Lets rock the future...